For the Depressed (but Willing),
It seems to me that many of us are depressed or are sad without the slightest notion as to why. I’ve noticed that many of us are young adults but that’s because right now, most of my network are in their 20s. But regardless of your age, regardless of who you are, it pains me to see you suffer such heartbreak because I know all too well what it is like. I know all too well what depression is and how it breaks you. This deep sadness can be severe to the point of madness–shown through the rage in your blows to the wall, the lamented fits in the privacy of your room, or self-infliction on your body because you so desperately need this pain to exit your being. You think about suicide, and the thought carries a sort of sweetness to it. Perhaps with a side of guilt too. It’s the easiest way out of the mess, you know that, but you also know that killing yourself would only transfer the pain onto loved ones.
When I realized I wasn’t the only one I knew going through depression and anxiety, I was relieved. But the more I saw people admitting their sadness on social media, the more my heart broke. The fact that so many of us feel empty, lost and blue must have something to do with the way we live today, I believe. There must be something wrong with our institutions, our lifestyle models, our foods, and our environments.
Today, our power has been diminished by depression–a vicious demon and formidable opponent. If you feel alone in your battle, know that you are not. Let me fill the empty space in your heart. Have my love for you and all of mankind make you whole again. If no one chooses to walk with you, I will. If someone sees your suffering but turns the other cheek, I do not. I’m here for you. I won’t ignore you and I am not tired of you. I’m not waiting for you to attempt a successful suicide. Instead, I fight for you. I bleed with you because my own demons like to get to me as well.
But I’m still here, fighting back. And if you truly want to get better, if you are willing to put work into it, let’s let ourselves feel these emotions instead of suppressing them. Denying the existence of this illness in yourself only creates a tighter prison in the mind. And then, let’s dig out the roots of our illness. Let’s discover the personal experiences, the science, and the history behind it. Let’s rebuild our beings by giving birth to a new version of ourselves.
How about we drop the opinions of others, and never pick them up again? How about no longer comparing our lives to what others portray theirs to be? Instead let’s figure out the things that lift us up, what is essential to our survival, and everything needed to thrive. Let’s also discover what brings us down.
Decide that who you are is enough, if only for today. Choose to be stronger than yesterday. I have complete faith that you and I can conquer depression. But you and I need to realize that we are hard work. You are hard work. Then we need to choose whether or not we’re worth the effort. I’ve decided that I am. I sure do hope you realize that you are worth it too, and I hope you shine as bright as the stars once again.